Sweet lime-green

This poem is dedicated to all the people I have met during my college life. Someone once told me that college life is the best part of our lives. All I want to say to you all is……. thanks a lot for proving that someone right.

4 years ago all of this started

An endless journey it seemed

But slowly it shifted its colors

From an ominous black to a sweet lime-green.

It was hard at first, wasn’t it?

To start to mingle in the crowd

Some were too shy to speak up

And some were simply too proud.

But then we got to know each other

And everything seemed so easy

It was like having the thrill of a roller-coaster

Without the feeling to get dizzy.

Then the trust slowly started to build

We knew that when the moment came

We could count on the ones around us

To share with us the blame.

Then we started hanging out

And partying quite a lot

All shyness, pride and ego

Thankfully, everything was soon lost.

We met many people along the path

And befriended some of them

People we knew we could hug and cry

When nothing seemed the same.

There came times when our unity and strength

Everything was fiercely tested

But be it proxy, cheating or just bunking a class

Everyone was always interested.

But today we all stand at crossroads

As everything is about to end

We will all go separate ways

But these memories will always remain.

Thinking about all this stuff I said

I hang my head in regret

The only thing that I know for sure is

None of this I can ever forget.

That’s why I want to thank you all

For making my journey the way it’s been

And most importantly for shifting its color

From an ominous black to a sweet lime-green.

Something I couldn't explain...

As another lightning scarred the sky

I felt the end fairly nigh

But it all started so normal today

Then why did it have to end this way.

I woke at 5 and washed my face

And prepared to enter the daily race

Reached the school a little late

But I guess it was all decided by fate.

Half day through, the world had changed

The little world that I used to call mine

The shrieks, the cries were all that remained

After the interference, supposedly divine.

I was alone and I was scared

I felt a sudden tinge of pain

I don’t know why this feeling flared

I guess it was something I couldn’t explain.

I searched the mangles for my lost school friends

I already felt at the end of the rope

With all lost, I closed my eyes

Hoping against every shred of hope.

I searched and searched till the time I could

Until my legs gave away

And that is when I understood

All I could really do was pray.

I did pray to you, oh god.

I begged my life of thee

Then why didn’t you stop that wave, almighty?

As it slowly engulfed me.

Tears rolled down my cheek at that time

Seeing all my efforts go in vain

I wasn’t afraid ‘coz I was dying, I was just sad

That it was something I couldn’t explain.

NOTE: This poem is dedicated to all the tsunami affected people in Japan. You people did not deserve what you had to endure. Rest in peace. The whole world is praying for you.

Maa

NOTE: This poem is only for those people who understand bengali. If you do not understand bengali then please get a translator. enjoy! :)

Jokhon amar keo chilona, tokhon chile tumi

Ekhon amar shob hoyeche, tao je acho tumi

Keno ei kotha ta tumi bujhe nite chao na

Je keo aashuk aamar jibone, tumi je amar maa.

Tumi na thakle o maa amar, aaj ki hotam ami?

Sheta bhebe aaj o tomay shobaar opor maani

Ja hi kori, jotoi kharap, shob haashi mukhe mene nao

Ektu boko, ektu raago, kintu khoma-o to kore dao

Betha pele, koshto hole, oshrudhara jhore

Kintu tomar chobi chokher theke, betha teo na nore

Shobar aage bhetor theke awaj aashe maa

Betha hocche, koshto hocche, aar shoite parchi na.

Kokhono – kokhono, bujhe na bujhe, koshto diyechi na?

Raag koro na, aaj bolchi, khoma kore diyo maa.

Kache theke bujhte parini, maa je kake bole

Koto kichu amay shekhate tumi, khela khelar chole.

Aaj o amar mone aache shei school theke badi fire

Tv chaliye khabar pate, khawa dheere – dheere

Tumi bolte, keno ektu taratari khete parish na?

Ami boltam, michki heshe, bas aar 5 minute maa.

Aaj o phone-e shobar aage, jigesh koro tumi

Eto ratre ki korchi, kemon aachi aami.

Ami boli, bhalo aachi maa, ei khabar gelo pet-e

Tumi bolo miche bolish na, ja boshe pod khete.

Maa go amar, shob jano tumi, shob je bujhte paro

Bhalo theko maa shara jibon, bhalo besho amay aaro

Tomay chada jibon ta kemon hobe, aaj – o bhabte pari na

Ki korbo, bolo shuni, tumi je amar maa.

I love you maa!

Think....

Have we ever stopped to wonder why the star-stricken night sky, with a calm breeze blowing across our face can soothe us while overwhelming us with tears of nostalgia at the same time? And when the same breeze gets a bit angry and one, just one, bolt strikes across the sky, we are scared. Scared of the unearthly presence. Why?

When our own younger sister / brother demands us of a toy, a present or some money, we reach out, with all our heart and give them more than what they asked for, not thinking for one second about the insane amount of money spent. But when a young boy / girl of about the same age asks us for a mere insignificant penny, we shy out, pretend not to hear them or simply shoo them off. Didn’t we pledge all Indians to be our brothers and sisters? Then why?

When you think of something so ingenuously cryptic that none of your friends can understand and then you proceed to explain them the details, savoring each moment of triumph, that’s the best thing that has happened to this world after sliced bread. And when one of your friends says something that appeals a bouncer to you at first glance, you say with a straight face “Get real, man. This ain’t a fairy tale”. Doesn’t he/she deserve a shot at explaining? Then why?

When one of our friends starts to get a bit wet around the corners of his/her eyes after watching an emotional scene or at the pang of failure, he is a fragile wimp. And when the same thing happens with us, how come there is always something in our eye? Why? Where is the fragility now?

When we are young and knew nothing of this world, we always longed for (and even cried at times for) our parents the moment they went out of sight. And today, when we are all grown up all we ever want to do is get as far away from our parents as possible just because their presence makes us feel awkward? Why? Where did that feeling go?

But do we ever stop to think how our behavior makes the other person feel? If you ask me, then the night didn’t want to scare us. Maybe it just got a bit more playful. The innocent child, maybe she needed some money so that she could make her younger sibling happy. Maybe that friend spoke up in such a fashion just because he/she wanted to join in the conversation desperately but couldn’t find any way to speak up. Maybe the friend who started crying had a nostalgic moment seeing the scene in the movie that he never ever wanted to remember again. Maybe our parents find it just hard to believe that their son/daughter is growing up so fast and don’t want to be left behind all forgotten in the race.

It’s a fact that we do change along the way as we grow up, but is it correct if that change makes us a completely different person than we all once were? Yes, it may be a good way for us to deal with the changing world, but have we ever thought what that would make those people feel who loved the old “us”?

Think about it.

Remember me?

I am the useless blabber

That you used to have every night

With two friends over the phone

When, with a third, you had a fight.

Remember me?

I am the purple sky

That you would so lovingly gaze

But as time passed and you got older

I was lost somewhere in the haze

Remember me?

I used to be the cheerful shout

Declaring “Mom! I am home”

But now I am nothing but a dull thud

Of you hitting the soft foam

Remember me?

I am the soft whispers

That went on in that mind of yours

But slowly you got too busy

And I got washed along with the daily chores.

Remember me?

I am the joy that you felt

While watching your favorite cartoon show

But now I am mere pangs of awareness

That the newsflashes bestow.

Remember me?

I am the satisfaction that you felt

When mom fed you with her hands

But you lost me in the restaurants

As forks and spoons took their stands.

Remember me?

Why did you have to forget us?

Cast us completely away?

We could have managed to stay somehow

With those responsibilities under-way.

You are a changed person now

But you were better before

Think about what all you are missing out

It was long, but not that long ago.

I think I love you...

I thought i had gotten over you,
comforted by a glass of bourbon,
but there you were again, dressed in black,
and before i knew i was back to square one.

I don't know what locked my stare,
but something just clicked inside me,
you were standing there watching, smiling,
it was like a living fantasy.

we talked, we shared,
we laughed and cared,
challenged the limits as far as i dared,
my vision emotionally impaired.

I know not why i fell for you,
I don't have much to give,
maybe i was not thinking straight,
or maybe i just wanted to live.

I know the problem is with me somewhere,
'coz you are too good to be true,
i don't know how to bring this out,
but i think i love you.

158

One sip at the glass of tea, one drag at the cigarette in hand and my mind started doing the only thing I ever refrain it from.

Thinking….

The problem with me is that I don’t like studying. And that kinda sucks ‘coz m supposed to be student. Now the fact of the matter is, I was a bit down that day. Some stuff in college I guess. So my mind started thinking all sorts of stupid things like my first smoke, my first visit to hell, my counseling, my AIEEE score….. And there it stopped. Somehow, my mind and my parents always tend to keep reminding me that I pretty much screwed up my AIEEE score.

158.

But the good part is my heart. It’s pretty much the only thing about me that doesn’t make me feel guilty. So my heart, it took me just one fleeting moment back in time. My AIEEE examination day. And it all came flashing back. There I was again in that shabby old building, on that small bench where my legs would barely fit, silently staring at the paper in front of me and slowly nibbling my pencil.

And then I remembered it. The reason I screwed up my paper. It was simple. I got BORED. I got so damn bored staring at the paper in front of me and feeling utterly helpless that I slammed down the pencil, folded up the paper, submitted and left the invigilator gawking at me. There were still 20 minutes for the time to be officially over.

Anyhow, the results came some months later. And there it was. Flashing on the computer screen in front of me – 158 – the three bold digits that ruined my life. Naturally, after the routine harassment by my parents, I was left alone in the room with the dot-matrix printer mocking me with its screechy hum and the computer screen, silently laughing.

Then came the counseling. Boy, that was by far the worst day of my life. I hated the long waiting queue. I hated the warm atmosphere. I hated the people who were conducting the procedure. I hated everything. Finally my turn came to sit in front of the computer and decide where to waste the next four years of my life. And that’s when I saw that I could not opt for VNIT, Nagpur because some sonofabitch had just taken the last seat. His score was 159.

That really pissed me off. I mean one mark? One frikkin mark. What does one mark even count for? But the damage had been done. I had been allotted a sodding NIT Raipur. One mark. It was just one mark that dragged me to hell.

The rest was a blur. I lost interest in living. I lost interest in studies. Hell, I became a below average student. But then after one year passed, I realized something. If I had to waste four years of my life here, why not make something out of it. So I started living. I started looking. And when I looked, I found something, some people, some very special things.

I learned that “tears”, in fact, are applicable to each n every situation of life. I learned that “anger management” does not apply to everyone. I learned that not caring about what “others” want you to be like is actually another way of living life. But more than everything, what I learned was that friendship is the best thing in life. Without friends, u will always feel like jumping off a cliff. But WITH friends, at least you have somebody to jump with.

And now, when there is only half a year left to waste, I feel like it should have just started. When I didn’t want to come here, they forced me to and now when I’m in love with the place, they are taking me away? That’s not fair.

But the good part is, at least I have learnt something important in this time. I learnt that one mark can actually make a huge difference. Sometimes, ONE sodding mark can make you start believing again. As soon as I felt the sharp sting of cigarette burn on my hand, I was back. I set down the empty glass, paid and moved on. Smiling to myself and wondering what would have happened had I GOT that ONE FRIKKIN MARK.